


Memories

by ImPanicingAtTheDisco



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Angst, Based on a Tumblr Post, F/M, I'm Bad At Tagging, In Love, Modern AU, Trading memories
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-05
Updated: 2018-10-05
Packaged: 2019-07-25 13:57:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,536
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16198904
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ImPanicingAtTheDisco/pseuds/ImPanicingAtTheDisco
Summary: Everyone has heard of her. The city witch. How she can be found sitting calmly in a back alleyway, earbuds blasting music with peaceful smile barely visible from under her worn grey hoodie.The reason that they know about her is that she does what no one else can. She can trade memories.





	Memories

**Author's Note:**

> This is just a therapy fic for me, and honestly, it's probably a messed up way to express feelings. Oh well. On to the tears and sadness.

Everyone has heard of her. The city witch. How she can be found sitting calmly in a back alleyway, earbuds blasting music with peaceful smile barely visible from under her worn grey hoodie.

The reason that they know about her is that she does what no one else can. She can trade memories. 

If you can find her, you can make an exchange. Anyone can ask to trade their worst, most horrifying memories for a golden one. They will never have to feel pain from their memories again.

That’s what Bellamy so desperately needs right now. That’s who he is looking for. His world has been torn to shreds, laying in a thousand scattered pieces on the floor, and he is so close to breaking. To just finding an end. 

He has been searching for the witch for days, but now he hears whispers. Whispers of a strange girl on a street behind a diner on Main Street.  
He finally finds her - in a dingy, dimly lit alley, crouching down to feed a pitifully gaunt, starved looking cat.  
She stands when she sees him, brushing the dirt off of her jeans before she speaks. “I take it you’re here for the memories.” Her voice sounds like sleepy nights and warm breezes.  
He nods slowly. 

She smiles, then sits against the wall of the building behind her, patting the ground beside her. “Sit. It’s part of the process.”  
He sits beside her, not even noticing the filth the the wall is covered in.

The witch closes her eyes and leans against the wall, taking off her hoodie before she speaks -the repetition of these same words having been burned into her memory long ago.  
“I can trade you one terrible memory for a memory I have of a young pine tree covered in butterflies.” She takes his hand as she continues, but slowly, carefully, as if she knows how badly he will shatter if touched too roughly.

“A hundred monarchs resting on their long flight have lit here, on the green needles. You reach out. Tired creatures crawl on your arms, wings slowly parting and closing, parting and closing as they breathe. They rest, covering you in magic. You are very small, and they glow like candles behind colored glass.” Bellamy hopes with his heart of hearts that this magic is real.

“I will trade you one awful, inescapable moment for this one golden moment in time, this moment of honeycomb light and a warm autumn day tapering to endless evening.”  
The girl looks over at him. “In order to do this,” She says, her voice calm and collected. “I need to see what you want to trade. Is it okay if I see?”

Bellamy nods. “Just get it over with.” His voice was raspy, as if it hadn’t been used in days. 

She touches her fingers to his temples, and time shifts.  
\--  
“Bellamy!” Clarke is doing her absolute best to sound angry, but she is failing miserably because she can’t stop laughing. “You know that we already have enough of these.”

Bellamy laughs as he pulls a tiny shirt from a bag and places it over her pregnant stomach. “Yes, but - we don’t have one in blue.”  
He buries his head in Clarke’s golden blonde hair while he hugs her.

She’s laughing as she gives in. “Fine, I guess one more can’t hurt. I think she’ll like blue anyways.”

Bellamy grins and starts dancing them across the living room, waltzing to the non-existent music. “Clarke, I’m so excited for this baby. We’re finally going to have a kid.”  
They slowly dance in front of a window, quietly swaying back and forth in the lazy golden sunlight. 

“You know,” Clarke said, her voice muffled by Bellamy’s shoulder. “With the baby, we probably won’t get to sleep as much.”

Bellamy kisses the top of her head. “Well. I’m not just going to make you take care of the baby by yourself. I’ll help and you can sleep all you want.”

She peeks up at him. “I’ll probably be tired and grumpy all the time.”

He fake gasps. “What? You, grumpy? Never.”

She rolls her eyes as she laughs. “I love you.” She bites her lip before she continues. “You’re not going to leave me are you?”

He hugs her tighter as he stares at the soft, easy sunset. “Clarke, I am never leaving you. You’re stuck with me, Princess.” 

She laughs and they begin to spin throughout the room again, happy and content, with all the time left in the world.  
\--

Time shifts again.

\--

Clarke is running to the car, half laughing half crying. “Bell, hurry up, this baby does not want to wait!” She’s tripping over her own feet in her haste.  
Bellamy scoops her up and runs her to the car, quickly sitting her in the passenger seat before starting the car and driving. 

He’s holding Clarke’s hand - excited and scared and happy all at once. “Clarke, we’ll be there in a minute, just breath okay? In, out, in, out.” He kisses her hand, calming down when he sees that they are almost to the hospital.

In an effort to distract her, he asks, “So what name did we decide on again?” He winks as she stops hyperventilating so she can glare at him. “Just humor me Princess.”

She’s breathing hard again as she answers. “Maddie. We decided on Maddie.” She looks at him and grins. “I know what you’re doing. I lov-”

The last things she ever sees are the lights hurtling towards the cars passenger door.

\--

Time shifts again, and Bellamy crawls out of the wreckage of his car, head pounding and ears ringing. Clarke is missing from the passenger seat.  
He stumbles as he wipes away the blood that’s pouring from his forehead into his eyes, desperately searching for Clarke. Praying for a sign that leads to her location.As he searches, he hears small gasps for air and runs towards them, ignoring the pain in his head.

He finds her and falls to the ground, pulling her body into his lap and hugging her to him. “Hey Princess, hey, you’re going to be fine, okay? Everything is gonna be alright.” He does his best to stop the flow of blood from her stomach as he talks. 

Clarke is struggling for breath, bloodied and broken on the ground. “Bell, please, please, I’m scared, Bell, help me, please-”She’s choking on her own blood, clutching at him with failing hands.  
Bellamy is trying to sit her up, trying to stop the flow of blood, but it’s a useless struggle. “Clarke, baby, just hold on, okay, just hang on.” Fear was creeping into his voice.

“Bellamy, I don’t-” Her hands fall away from him, her voice growing weaker. “Bell, please.”  
She’s so tired now. Exhaustion has erased even fear from her eyes, replacing it with a sleepy indifference. 

“Clarke? Clarke? Hey, come on, don’t give up on me yet.” He’s panicking now, tears flowing freely down his face. “Clarke, come on. Don’t leave me.”  
He’s yelling now, not willing to realize that she was gone. “Please don’t go! I can’t do this alone, please!”  
\--

The witch slowly pulls her hands away. There are tears running down both of their faces. This was one of the worst memories she had ever seen, and it will be hers soon. 

She reaches into her pocket, taking a deep, shuddering breath as she pulls out an old, time worn book.

She scrubs the tears away with the sleeves of her hoodie before asking, “Are you ready?” 

He nods, and she can see the ruins of his being carved into the lines of his face. “Yes, I’m ready.”

She quietly holds his hand as the spell begins. “Hatred, horror, fear, loss, terror - we let you go. There is no need to fall victim to the hungry darkness. Memories are just that - memories. So we give them away.”

Her voice becomes softer, lighter, rose petals on cottony clouds. “While oblivion is never truly blissful, it can ease the pain.”

Bellamy relaxes against the wall as the spell finally sets in, the witches voice pulling him away from his memories. “For now,” She continues, “There is no need to be condemned to your memories.”

Bellamy is completely slumped against her shoulder, worn and exhausted. The girl just puts an arm around him, still speaking even though the spell was finished. She has seen what it’s like to suddenly have such a great weight lifted off of you.

“Look. You have made the trade. You can take your memories back any time, but you need not bear them always. Now I will hold it for you for awhile so it can be smaller and farther away.” And the ache of newly-discovered loss can be heard in her voice.

She leans against the wall, the dull blankness in her mind reminding her that Bellamy’s memories are settling into her head.

“Look at the butterflies.” She says softly, wondering how many more times she can do this before the weight of all these memories crush her. How many more people she can rescue before she loses herself in the world’s pain. “Look at the butterflies.”

**Author's Note:**

> So, whenever my Spanish teacher makes me have an anxiety attack, I write a sad fic. It's getting ridiculous how many I have written.


End file.
